Nothing spurious here folks, this is genuine. Pirates are dying off fast, on the verge of extinction, so I am going to implement some tax-funded pirate sanctuaries, since obviously as you can see, their presence minimizes rising temperatures. I mean, there's such a clear connection, like CO2 and rising temperatures.
And how dare anyone claim dwindling pirate numbers are merely the effect of rising temperatures; do you know what that could do to my grant money for pirate sanctuaries!?! You ignorant bastard.